ESTONIA

It must be a lot, some I am too afraid to write about. Even I believe I imagine some of them still some of them are real enough.So I keep the distance. I am not afraid that I`m not good enough in my work or in relationships, that I can say. I am a bit afraid to die early or quite early, now I am 27. And I think if Iwould be around 55 I would feel safer.As I probably have been doing the works I am only planning now.So, it must be one of my fears, that my life is shorter then my ideas and I must take them with me.But I want them out.They belong as much to everybody then to me. Until this summer I was quite afraid to meet one person who was my big love for more then 7 years ago.I met him now, and the fear was totally gone already before we met.I believe he was very nervous, but it didn`t matter to me.I was busy to follow my own thougths as the day was one chance to finish the past for good.And now, some days later I don`t even think about it.It`s all so gone. Hard to believe it was one of my fears. If I think what people can be afraid of I can`t think the same, as I even may have the same situation. I can just live with that. I lost my mother in very hard way-I can live with that. I care enormously about my sister, I am not so important to her- I can live with that. I live apart from my dog who is like a child for me, my closest friend, til the day she dies-I can live with that. I haven`t fall in love for seven years and I feel no interest to doing it-I can live with that. Maybe because I have been living through quite many things people consider as nigthmares I can`t be afraid of them anymore.It makes me feel very rich and safe.
--Margit, Female, Estonia