I donīt even know where to begin! I feel like my life is run by fear! My feelings are all mixed up. I feel cannot control my life, everyoneīs opinions affect me, itīs like i cannot do anything of my will. This time iīve been able to read some of the mail of my actual girlfriend where i discovered she wrote an ex-boyfriend that she didnīt know how serious our relation is to her. I was at work and i took about 3 hours to decide to open her email. I spent all afternoon thinking if i should or shouldnīt open the mail, i wasnīt able to work properly, i felt like my stomach was about to explode, i thing i was terrified to find something like this writen... I donīt know what to feel. I feel desperate, i canīt cry.I donīt know what to do. All kinds of thoughts come to my mind, afraid to talk to her. At the same time i have not been telling her all my feelings, iīve been feeling anguist... Should i continue? should not, i feel like running! feel like disapearing. Please let this not be! Iīm shaking, like very cold, very stressed. why is my life allways like this shit! Another aspect, sometimes canīt precise when, i feel like iīm the best that i can control everything, for ex. just a second ago an idea crossed my mind, i thought you (donīt know who) would like this message iīm writing and would spread making me some kind of important person, now iīm asking myself why that happened... just changed the line of thought, why? i feel empty iīm just telling everything that comes to my mind, please believe me.. i felt like crying...it was that thought... iīve turned my mobile phone off, i fear my girlfriend phoneīs me and i donīt know what to say... My head hurts, should i think that she wants me, should i think she still loves her previous boyfriend?... My lips are dry...still shaking... When iīm in her arms itīs like safety, peace, is that enough for love..... can i be happy, how does my poor relation with all my family affects my way...? Breathing deeply...iīm going to read her mail one more time... what can i do with my feelings, all my life iīve not paid attention to them trying to understand them, and now they are the driving force of my life... Iīm afraid to be more dumb then other people. Full of fears, donīt.....know what more to say, the only way i thought i could ease this unconfortable way was to write everything that came to my head..... Iīm very nervous, donīt know what to say, iīve done things that i thing make me doubt the autenticity of my feelings. write to me
--joelbmorgado@mail.pt, Male, Portugal

--Joana, Female, Portugal

I fear myself, what I can and canīt do. I fear my future.
--Duarte, Male, Portugal

I'm afraid to expose my fears. I believe that fearing something is some sort of weakness, and by exposing them...
--Nuno, Male, Portugal