UNITED KINGDOM

my main fear seems to be like most people, not being loved or finding someone who values me. i am afraid of what people may think of me. i don't want to let people get too close and i'm afraid of being hurt.
--Alice, Female, England

to be alone
--Sara, Female, England

that my friend wont be able to see his kids for a long time
--Sam, Female, UK

i'm afraid that everyone has lost the plot - we cannot escape the clutches of consumerism and greed and we are losing our humanity. I feel that the world is rapidly becoming a place which is not worth living in and that we are all to selfish and apathetic to do anything about it.
--Katherine, Female, UK

I have as many fears and phobias as the next person... such as arachnaphobia. But the only time I feel truley afraid or scared is when a true nightmare is dreamt, while you are in the depths of sleep. I wake up startled, adrenilin pumping and my hear t beating. I am never alone, but can never identify or rember who it is or what it is that brings the fears to me. We all fear what we do not know and what we do not understand... fear is an instigator of many emotions. That is why the world is the way it is today.
--Zoe Joanna Griffan, Female, UK

I got malaria one time and then I got it again and again and again. With malaria you don't really know when it's going to come. You sit and wait. The first thing that strikes you is the colour of your piss. A carpenter would say it was mahogany. I would say it's just plain agony. You loose so much water through fever sweats that you can piss crystals or kidney stones. Then the headaches start. The headaches result from a rise in your blood pressure. Which follows a rise in your temperature. At one stage I reached 41 degrees Celcius and 180 over 130 mm mercury. I should have had a stroke. And then the treatment didn't work. The medicos didn't know if I had the chloroquin resistant sort of parasite until they had given you chloroquin. After the chloroquin, I had to take premequin which is a stronger drug with side effects. The side effects are that you can become psychotic. My mom, who was looking after me said, "If you take the drugs just before you go! to sleep, you can be psychotic in bed". One time while I still had the malaria I attempted to repair a blocked pump on a washing machine. I became a washing machine maniac, rather than a washing machine mechanic. I could not control my temper as I lay on my back in soapy water leaking from the machine and tried with great difficulty to remove 5 lbs of fluff from the pump.

The only way to see if you have the parasite is to inspect your blood under the microscope. The only problem is that the medico's can't tell it's there unless you are in full delerium tremens and have millions of parasites in your blood. So I had to wait until I was in fever and shaking and then get in a taxi and make an appearance at the Path Lab for the blood donoring. By the time I got there I was breaking down mentally. The nurse in charge said, "Who the F-----g hell sent you down here in that state!" I struggled out the name of the doctor and then vomited every where, as if to punctuate the moment. The nurse made a quick abuse call to the doctor and then took the sample.

And all this was because I have a fear of being unemployed and took a job in a third world country because I was desperate and signed a contract where the only thing I could do was live there. People who only watch TV just don't know..... Is this OK?
--Stephan, Male, UK/Australia

coming to the realisation that asthma might actually kill me one day.
--elenka, Female, UK

Fears?mY REAL FEAR THAT IS NOT MATERIAL IS A FEAR OF COMPLETE SOLITUDE AS IF I WAS THE LAST MAN ON EARTH Nightmares? LAST YEAR I HAD THE SCARIEST DREAM OF MY LIFE WHERE I WATCHED AS ALL THE EARTH WAS TO BE DESTROYED BY A COMET BUT SOMEHOW I KNEW I WAS GOING TO STILL BE ALIVE, ALONE. HOPE THIS IS SOMETHING TO WHAT YOU WANT ZOE!
--Adam Crane, Male, England

having to go through the agony of a violent relationship again.
cj, Female, England

being stranded in space
--billy aplin, Male, England

I am afraid of myself. I am afraid that as soon as I reveal who I truly am instead of loving me faults and all he will realise that he actually hates what I am. I fear that it is impossible to be loved completely and utterly.
--rebecca, Female, England

i am afraid of failure, of failing nyself, of never reaching my full potential and being left with a feeling of longing and disapointment.
--beccy gotham, Female, England

Relationships. Not the fear of rejection but the fear of acceptance.
--H. Melee, Male, Britain

A fear of whats within myself, my self abuse terrorfies me. Nightmares?Usually a weird set of sinarioes which end in a faceless charector about to cut open my head. Or where every where there is someone falling and dyeing and when I get close it is me and I cant do anything.
--Elizabeth Griffiths, Female, Wales

I have the same dream over and over again. I am a dark room, but I only know that I am indoors because I can't hear the wind. and I cant see any thing, I blink and try to focus on something but I cant, then I hear my mothers voice and she says "it's a lovely day , why don't you go and sit outside?" at this point I start to panic, and realise that I have become blind. This makes me feel sick to think of it but I usually dream this about twice a week and and I can't gat away from it.
--cj, Female, England

I am afraid that I can never have the courage to be me. He loves me and will always be there for me, we made a commitment to each other, i love him. but I know the only way I can be myself is to be without him. I can not hurt him. i dont know if my fear is of hurting him or myself. My fear is that if I leave what I find is that I dont want to be alone.
--Ellie, Female, Britian

I'm afraid of the truth. Of him ever finding out what really happened. Now that I told him I thought things would be fine but If i'd told him everythimg It would be over. It was a weight off my shoulders but still I have this horrible feeling I still have something to tell
--Heather, Female, Wales, UK

barnacles, and naval oranges. i know these are pretty bizarre things to be afraid of, but they just affect me. i wish i knew why.
--Zoe, Female, England

i'm afraid of not being a free person who can go anywhere and do anything i want. Im afraid of the person i could become if i was dis-allowed my freedom,my own views and opinions on things that really matter to me. Im afraid for the people who have never been free to do what they want.
--Penelope, Female, England

Myself. Isn't everyone most afraid of the darkness inside inside themselves? The unpredictable, the irrational, the jealous, the lonely, the loving, etc...
--D Gallagher, Male, England

I am scared when I am empty, when I think there is nothing to give or nothing worth giving. Alone, u can eliminate the voice of reason and shut off all of the things that could help you. In this vicious circle fear breeds, as the dark gets darker and belief grows in the strangest of places. Sometimes I wake up in the dark, and at that time I can believe in almost anything. Without any human contact, or reassurance beasts or demons can manifest easily, whether under the bed or in the wardrobe. I think it all mounts down to being alone in the world. I am the only me, and I will leave here alone. No matter how much we build up around this fact to hide it, we can never escape it. We wouldn't get scared so much if we didn't hide.
--Gavin, Male, England

Being abandoned.
--Susie, Female, England

I'm scared of letting people down, of enclosed spaces, heights, of dying before I've really done anything and of losing my imagination. I used to be scared of bananas but that turned into mere dislike. I'm terrified of being behind other people, of missing the boat. I'm probably too late to do anything about that though.
--Zoe, Female, UK

As a child I was scared of manaquins as I thought they were witches. I`m scared of telephones, the dark and being on my own.
--Andy, Male, UK

anything with legs that are bigger than their body, clowns, identical twins
--Matt, Male, UK

I can't see thrillers like "Scream" at the cinema...but I'm trying to confront it and I'm going to see "the Blairwitch Project" on Halloween!! I'm treating it as a studie for my art work and I will record the sounds in the Cinema as we watch the film...I hope this will make me less traumatised...my art project is about UNCOMFORTABLE....
--Agnes, Female, England

Some of the uncertainties that the future can bring not knowing were the next pound may come from Not knowing how I will be able to support my new family in the coming year. I fear not being able to live the life that I had dreamt I would.
--Ollie, Male, England

at the minute i have two specific fears one, my uncle who is suffering from a brain tumor will die, he will, i have no doubt, my fear is not for him as he is a very strong person, my fear is for the seven daughters he will leave behind with his wife. two, that i will mis treat a friendship and hurt someone i am close to because i can't control my feelings, thought and sexual drives. this is not what she needs.
--Gazz, Male, England

i amafraid of alot of things we all are I suppose its a part of life and living.I was obssesed when i was little with nuclear war terrified that one day we would all be wiped out.I used to imagine all of the possible scenarios of what would happen if it happened or if you survived.human violence and neglect really frighten me know its all you seem to hear about and things seem to be getting worse.Ive stopped watching the news virtually or reading the papers they get me down feeling I have no control to rectify situations this applies to me upon a global scale too, my childhood fears look like they could be realised,lets hope they are not.
--Nathan, Male, England

That Paul will die. Prematurely, like my mother, my sister, my father, my babies. That the person who has helped keep me sane throughout, will be taken too. And that then there will be no-one.
--Helen, Female, England

octopusses
--Liz, Female, UK

i am afraid of exploding, i cant explain why.
--Gemma, Female, UK

I am afraid of never being someone and always being the person who never quite makes it and regrets it for the rest of my life. Nearly but not quite.
--Lynda, Female, England

Not being understood.
--Laura, Female, England

i am afraid of the light blue spark that glows in the dark, you know the place where you thought monsters lived, under your bed as a child, you coaxed your fear to let you sleep, and then ironically, when you grow up, you are there asking to have tea with the creatures that taunted you. I am afraid of forgetting how to breathe, and making too much noise when i sleep, and most of all i am afraid of falling into a hole where all my secrets are buried, and not recognising them.
--urban_warrior33@hotmail.com, Female, United Kingdom

Fears? Nightmares?I am always thinking whether the decisions i am making today will either have a positive of negative effect on me in the future and it stops me from contunuing on the present pat, i keep changing directions in life and never seem to settle down.
--giuseppe t, Male, England

Anonymity, Failure, Not knowing what to do/where to go first
--Anonymous, Female, England

Fears? Nightmares? Fear of big crowds of people when I go shopping I just want everyone to disappear, then I think thats not very nice and everyone is probably thinking the same.My boyfriend and I both share the same fear of the dark, we are both nearly 30 but feel like little kids if when we are alone and in the dark. SPIDERS. but not the spiders themselves, it's more a fear of squashing them. I never kill them because thats cruel. erm, lots of silly little fears like going to the dentist or going for an interview etc but I supose a big fear for me is exhibiting my work and not thinking that it is good enough,(I am studying applied arts)I suppose that will perhaps develop as my confidence grows. Sorry for waffling on I hope that the project is a great success and goes smoothly for you. I have added your site to my favorites section . looking like a fool is another of my boyfriends fears and also from me, fear of appearing stupid and fear of not expressing myself properly
--S.J., Female, UK

I am afraid of becoming nothing. I am afraid of becoming like the swarms of people that bustle past me on their frantic journeys to nowhere. I am afraid of becoming just like everybody else, of losing whatever it is inside of me that sets me apart. This will happen if I become contented. Then I will be happy to let life pass me by, to to just let everything ride. I will no longer be worried about being a non-entity. Perhaps I'll get married to a lovely man and have some lovely babies and watch them become lovely children and then lovely adults and then I'll die. A few generations later and I'll never have existed. Sometimes I think that if I become a great scientist or artist then others will remember me, for a while at least. But everyone is forgotten in the end. Maybe I'm sitting here typing away in this freezing little box-room in the hope that someone will read this and remember. But no. I'll always be alone, however many people are around me, howe! ver different I make myself. It's the not knowing that gets to me. Perhaps everything just ends, and thats it. But then surely that negates any work I'm doing - what is the point? What is the point in even living if all that happens is you die? What is the point in living if your life is worthless? I am afraid of becoming nothing.
--Felicity, Feamle, UK

My worst fear is not having the ability to decipher between conciousness and subconciousness. For example, knowing whether your normal working day was a dream or whether it was actually reality. I feel that this ability allows me to keep a grasp within the realms of being sain.
--Andy, Male, UK

...at the moment my biggest fear is failure... I have so many deadlines, things i should be doing that all seem to have to be finished at the same time.. i really want to do well...but things are getting on top of me... i want to do my best, but it's hard to give 100% to several different things all at the same time.. i am really afraid of not doing the best that i can, and looking back on it and regretting not trying harder.
--Jenni, Female, England

Fears? i am afraid of dying young of genetic breast cancer - like my mother and my 4 great aunts. this is kind of a reasonable fear - because i almost certainly have the gene - but there's nothing i can do about it so i just have to live with these time-bomb breasts. i am an artist too but i can't do any work about this because it's unapproachable....it just informs everything i do. Nightmares? i have only had nightmares so bad that i woke up crying after my mother died & i was swimming in a stormy sea dragging her by the hair as she was too ill to swim herself & i was looking for a resting place. but there was none. - but there was none.
--Abigail, Female, England

Scared of being wrong. In a position of responsibility, it's important to keep a grasp on the truth, my truth. Making mistakes leads others to follow, and the responsibility of setting an example forces a chilling reality upon me : I must not mislead. I have, and I am afraid of the consequences of that. The abuse of trust, with myself in the role of the abuser. That is my greatest and most horrifying fear.
--Michael, Male, UK

afraid of being discovered. All those secret private unnacceptable things that hurt nobody but might upset those who are closest. This is not a confession. More an acknowledgement of the danger of certain activities.
--Michael, Male, UK

SPIDERS, LONLINESS
--Anna, Female, England

Fullfillment; maybe achieving it, maybe not, maybe the physological factors that make fullfillment an issue.
--RT, Male, UK

My biggest fear is needles. they always squirt a little bit of liquid out of them before they inject you.
--Hayley, Female, England

Myself. I have a backlog of personality traits that i am afraid will undermine and destabilise me. My most fearful experience was being trapped between the borders of sleep and wake by an unfocussed fear that chose any noise i heard as its target. In the end, the sound of my own breath became sinister and menacing, and i would suddenly start back from the borders of sleep as my breath became more and more ominous. All other fears are generated by this mother fear of self, of the areas of self that are tucked in corners so inaccessible that i need to see them reflected in others, in the world, to realise that they are mine.
--Dave, Male, England

only ever having one night stands, of being used like a piece of meat. will i ever meet someone who i don't just sleep with?
--Gabby, Female, UK

Myself. I have a backlog of personality traits that I am afraid will undermine and destabilise me. My most fearful experience was being trapped between the borders of sleep and wake by an unfocussed fear that chose any noise I heard as its target. In the end, the sound of my own breath became sinister and menacing, and I would suddenly start back from the borders of sleep as my breath became more and more ominous. All other fears are generated by this mother fear of self, of the areas of self that are tucked in corners so inaccessible that I need to see them reflected in others, in the world, to realise that they are mine.
--Dave, Male, England

Fears? Nightmares? Going no where with my life
--Anonymous, Male, UK

I fear I'll reach old age and think, I've wasted my life. When I was a small girl a had a recuring nightmare. I would be able to see through the floor of my bedroom down into the livingroom and I would see a small girl with long blonde hair (just like mine) sitting in front of an open coal fire, except the fire had long died out. She was cold and looked lonely, I would shout to her, but my cries were fait. Eventually she would beguin to turn towards me. Before I could see her face I would awake.
--Mandy, Female, UK

I am afraid of many things,the future mainly, not what I will do but the deeds of others. The ultimate destruction of our beautiful Earth and the pain and suffering that is to come. Money is power so ultimately I am afraid of money and the spell it casts on all who hold it, morals and compassion are disregarded in exchange for profit and sucess. On a more personal level I am afraid of being fat. Not just the physical weight gain but the loss of the battle in my mind, which forces me to controll and feel guilt for everything that I eat. If I loose the battle I will be weak in mind and gross in stature. To become fat would to become shamefull and disrespectfull of the beautifull skeleton within.
--Meg, Female, North wales, Britain

Loneliness, pointlessness death of loved ones.
--Clint, Male, England